"And, when you want something, the entire Universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." -The Alchemist, by Paulo Coehlo

Saturday, June 24, 2017

As Seen on IG

Most of you that follow me through here are horse bloggers, and most of you don't understand what this journey means to me and why I continue to document it. As always, I direct my story at the wrong audience...I mean, who else names their initially-dressage-then-endurance-now-life-blog "Wait for the Jump"? (The explanation is here.) And what other horse person out there is into strength training at this level right now and actually wants to talk about it? No one. No one in the blogging community truly knows where I come from nor can comprehend how far I've come. This isn't about the reflection in the mirror; it never has been. Is it cool to look the way I've always wanted to? Well yeah, duh. But that's not important. This is tougher than training for endurance because it is just me and my head: most of the time overcoming the way we think is the hardest test of them all.

The reflection is merely evidence that I CAN: I CAN change the way I think and perceive myself. I CAN make this about enjoying every step of the journey without getting lost in an end goal (because THAT is what "wait for the jump" really is about! What this blog was always meant to be about.) I CAN fit this into a crazy busy hectic life with 8 million other responsibilities. I CAN love myself 20 lbs ago as much as I can love myself now because the human body is actually meant to be imperfect! I CAN wake up every morning to train harder than the day before. I CAN still think of this as "fun" at a point where most people would have given up. I CAN do anything as long as I have the sheer determination to get it done.

So all I see in my reflection is this: I see grit and strength and will. I see the power to go beyond the perceived limits of my body and the ability to recognize that those limits are all in my head. I see that mental hurdles are limitations that I have created myself. And I celebrate little things, little things like having visible arm veins without doing a thing, because it is the one visible proof that I can do all of these things.

I can condition the castaway $1 non-Arab mare to be successful at the 50-mile distance in endurance. And I can mold this body, this body that used to be chosen last for sports and that has been through so much already, into that which no one, not even myself, ever thought would be possible: the body of an athlete, both inside and out. I would say that I can't wait to see how things continue to change, but the truth is that for the first time in my life I am enjoying every canter stride towards the jump so much that I am in no rush to get to the obstacle at hand.

The journey isn't just about reaching your goals. It is life. Life is a journey. Enjoy it. Live it. Celebrate it. The present is a gift.

If I color you with all my thoughts
Would you lose your fears of being lost?
I bet you never even knew
That there's a universe inside of you...


  1. I am loving your story here! I am sort of in your shoes and haven't posted in a really long time, but still follow my select few blogs that I loved (yours is one). My horse is retired from a career ending injury, and I am a new mom to a beautiful 16 month old boy. My life has changed over the last couple of years since I blogged. I felt like I couldn't share that journey on my horse blog although sometimes I am very tempted. Keep posting please! I have always loved your stories! Horse or non horse related!

    1. JWall!!! I had missed you. <3 I had no idea you had a little one! You really should blog about your journey now; I would love to read about it. No reason why we can't reinvent ourselves. :)

  2. I agree 100% with you that life is definitely more about enjoying the journey than focusing on the end result. When I was back in my 20's my dad once said to me that there's more to life than horses (I was young and either working or riding~ so I didn't really think so then). I'm in my 40's now, my horse is retired...and although I'm leasing another from a friend, my life has gone in a multitude of directions since then. I'm doing things I never thought I'd do and my goals have changed. I've even contemplated taking a break from the horse scene when my old guy passes as there are things I would like to be able to do that, while having horses, I cannot afford to do right now. Life is short~ REALLY short and that means enjoying the journey is just as important as meeting a goal. I have always enjoyed reading your blog and recently found your instagram am as well (mine is Hoovesandpaws). As I large gal, I struggle with my own fitness, but I tell myself that it's necessary~ along with eating better to keep myself in good enough shape to do the things I want to do in life. You look fabulous! Keep up the AWESOME job!

    1. I was told the same thing when I was a teenager regarding there being more to life than horses. I'm not that far behind you in age...I turn 38 next month! :) I think that's part of it: just being older than the average 20-something blogger that posts about the latest tack they've bought. Horses are still important and a lot of decisions are made around ours, but they aren't all-encompassing anymore at this stage. It is fun continuing to explore this other realm of fitness that I've stepped into thanks to being an equestrian. Agree with you wholeheartedly: life is short, REALLY short, and the journey is as important as meeting goals! I wish more people realized this.

      Thank you so much for the comment! I've been enjoying your photos on IG!

  3. Be here now.
    However we arrive at loving and caring for ourselves is perfect. :D