Transformation Tuesday

There are 22 years and about 24 lbs between these two photos. I am 5’4”. Both photos were taken in Arroyo, Puerto Rico.

Top Photo
I was 17. I weighed 110 lbs; that bikini was a children's size 16 because that was all that would fit me at the time. I was close to the end of my battle with anorexia, though I would continue suffering from disordered eating for the next 8 years. It had started with the goal of being stronger, of being "toned" (this is why I hate this term so much) and it turned into this downward spiral of excessive cardio, fear of eating, and wanting to take up as little space as possible. I didn't know how to stop obsessing over food and the mirror and the scale and whether my belly was flat and my ribs and hip bones showed and that I needed to burn every last calorie I ate. My body language was timid, wistful, shy, which is exactly what I was back then. Women have this warped mentality that if you’re thin, you’re automatically going to excel at life and be happy and confident. It is a LIE.

Bottom Photo
Taken this year, at 39 years of age and 134ish lbs. I am exactly what I was trying to originally be when the top photo was taken: strong. Period. Both inside and out. I eat, I lift, I ride, I work with animals for a living, I had a blast on this vacation...because I live, which is the most important part. My entire body language in the second photo reflects this. It’s taken a lifetime of growing and learning and so much trial and error. The results started happening when I decided to begin focusing on what I could do with my body instead of what I needed to do to make it look a certain way.

Form follows function.

Don’t give up on your journey. Don’t give up on yourself.

And don't be afraid to take up space.