"And, when you want something, the entire Universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." -The Alchemist, by Paulo Coehlo

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Sometimes You Just Gotta Laugh

I'm stuck indoors nursing a freaking bronchitis that developed in less than 48 hours. WTF...Went to the doctor yesterday and my breathing was so bad they even ended up taking chest rads to rule out pneumonia! I got nebulized, a steroid shot (by that point I was very much feeling like one of my patients. FYI: dexamethasone injections in the muscle BURN!! I'm glad we give it IV to our canine patients) and was prescribed antibiotics, a prescription strength cough suppressant/expectorant, and an albuterol pump. Fun. This means I probably won't get to enjoy the snow this weekend. :(

I have a natural tendency to be a pessimist, so I go out of my way to try to see the positive side of things. Since it's currently 19 degrees in my part of Maryland, with a windchill factor of 9 degrees (in my current health state, it actually hurts to breathe outside), and I know it's even colder where some of you all live, here goes some humor.

Like they said on ABC's website, everyone is trying to be funny about how cold it is.

"It's so cold that in Georgia, Honey BooBoo actually wore shoes. In Maine, lobsters were throwing themselves into boiling pots. In Chicago, people were wearing deep-dish pizzas on their feet." - Craig Ferguson

"With the wind chill it got down to 63 below zero in parts of Montana. At that temperature, if you remove your hat your thoughts will actually freeze inside your brain." - Jimmy Kimmel

"So cold, I saw Superman in a cab!" - Phil Gayden

"Today's forecast is 'holy crap I can't feel my freaking face' degrees." - Gaby Robles (Yes indeed, Gaby!)

"The devil got under my covers and told me to keep him warm cuz hell had frozen over." - Ivan Ibarra

"It's so cold that tomorrow is canceled." - Bryan Lassiter

"A Polar Vortex sounds like something Mr. Freeze would use to destroy Gotham City...or a new flavor of Powerade." - Jimmy Kimmel

And some popular jokes (that I'd never heard until now but had to laugh out loud when reading them):

"It's so cold that hitchhikers are holding up pictures of thumbs!"

"It's so cold that the optician is giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses" (I want.)

"It's so cold that if you want to hear what someone is saying, you have to grab a handful of sentences and take them in by the fire."


  1. Hope you feel better soon. Being under the weather sucks.

    Just don't lick the flagpole, whatever you've heard. It's not good.

    1. Hahaha! Yes, I do know better than that! :D

  2. Oh no, I'm sorry - feel better!

    (grumpy as I am about our cold temps, those are pretty funny. :)

    1. I know right? Hahaha...I think my fave is the one about canceling tomorrow!

      And thanks! <:)

  3. Ack! Stay home, get better. I was taken out for a full week and i still am coughing and not 100% Smart move going to the Dr!

    1. Thanks! All those meds and still feeling like crap. I *haaaate* being sick; I'm a really cranky patient!

  4. Eeek! Hope you feel better soon!